now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
