***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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