So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
