i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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