The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
