Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
