I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
