Someone shit on the floor
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
