dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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