I must be too annoying 4 u.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
