I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
