just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
