I hate all girls vehemently.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
