The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
