Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
