so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
