She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
