I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
