Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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