please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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