Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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