I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
