by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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