She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
