butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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