yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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