I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
should my penis look like a turkey
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
