K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
