He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
