You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am naked and annoyed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
