I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
