I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
