It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
