babies were throwing up all over the place
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
