i barfeds in our rink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
