some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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