Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
