The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need a beard to bite.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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