Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
