this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
