oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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