Dual....:-)
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
