His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
