Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
