google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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