i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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