All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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