Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This house was built for laser tag.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
