I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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