Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
